Weight Loss – Moving Forward

So I had my consult with the Weight Loss Surgical Center yesterday. They agreed that since I have tried just about everything the last thing for me to do is bariatric surgery. This is not a step I consider light or easy. I am currently scared to death & on the verge of saying fuck it & just letting myself go. Yes, I know that is not an option, so I guess I am stuck with surgery.

So I am going to get the gastric sleeve. I feel it will be the best option for me. I am not a compulsive eater, nor do I overeat a lot. I just don’t eat the “right” things. Basically, the surgeon is going to remove about 75% of my stomach & leave me with a banana shaped stomach. That is it. Since my main problem is that I am always hungry, I am thinking that this will help fix the issue.

Now come the part I am not horribly comfortable with. I am currently at 391 pounds. I don’t feel good, nor do I like how I look. Do not get the idea that I am not healthy though. Yes, I am pre-diabetic but have been that for over 10 years. I don’t have high blood pressure, or any other main weight caused illnesses. I just don’t feel good. It is hard for me to move around & do the things I want to do. The photos below is me. In my fat goddess fullness. Most of those were from my father’s wedding & I am actually bigger then this now. These are from last October through December. I don’t like photos so I don’t take them. I do plan on taking photos every other week going through this loss. This is why I am doing this. I can’t take this look anymore.

So fair warning to all of you. I am going to turn into a royal bitch. Anytime I am kept away from my food then I am horrible. So if I snap at you online, bitch at you, or just seem rude, please forgive me. I will get better, I promise.

We are going to work my way into the liquid diet for weight loss & getting used to not having my carbs & such. Giving up the sugar is not really a *huge* thing cause I have gotten used to eating a diabetic diet due to Mom having diabetes.

The HUGE upside??? If I lose the weight Brenda said that as my quick reward (big reward explained down the page) will be a trip to New York City. It will be just the two of us, but we are starting to get along quite well. She still has the things that irritate the hell out of me, but at the same time, I don’t have much choice in the matter. We both want to go to the history museum, shopping, a show, FAO toy store, etc. Thinking of just a quick three-day trip. The big reward??? ENGLAND!!!!! Yep, if I can fit in a damn plane there is no way in hell I am not going to England. Brenda also says she will take us to Paris (she wants to go) also. I am so excited for both of these, I just need to remember that there are HUGE plus sides to giving up my food.

So hopefully be back in a couple of week on this topic with more horrible pics for you. Wish me luck & support cause I am going to need it.

Celestarium WIP

So I was knitting on my Celestarium at the office the other day. A fellow part-time knitter came in & was looking at the picture & the chart & asked:

How do you manage to keep things in order & not lose your place? You put it down & pick it up all the time & I don’t see how you don’t lose your place.

I figured that if I got one question on how I do it, then there are probably others that want to know also. So I shall spill my techniques for keeping track of where I am & how I never (or rarely) lose my spot.

This is a picture of the chart for Celestarium. All credit for the design & such goes to Audry Nicklin. None of it is my doing. So you see all the circle & slashes? Yep, those are special stitches that have to be placed correctly. So how do I manage to handle putting the shawl down often? Simple. I’ll show you.

First, you find a suitable pattern holder. In this instance, Shiloh is being a sweetheart & holding the chart for me. Otherwise I use my magnetic chart holder (this one) or […] Continue Reading…

Big Changes

I had a shock last week. I went to my psychologist for my three-month check-in. (She wants to make sure I am not any crazier then I was before, lol) Part of the appointment is getting vitals. I hadn’t stepped on a scale for about two weeks, so I wasn’t horribly worried. I knew I was probably still in the 380 – 390 scale. Nope, I hit 401lbs! This was the last straw. I have been on weight watchers for over six months & I do exercise (probably not as much as I should, but I do). I don’t eat more than I should (honestly, I think I eat less than I should) & what I eat isn’t all that bad except for one day of the week when I have Chinese food.

So after a long & hard talk with the family, I have an appointment to talk to my primary care doctor & thankfully B is going to go with me. From there I am hoping to get a referral to a bariatric specialist. I want to make sure that there isn’t anything medically wrong with me. If there isn’t then I am going to […] Continue Reading…

Joke’s on me

I did a doozy last week. I broke my damn bed. How did I manage that one? Simple, I bent the damn frame until it separated at the joins. When you have myself (weighing in at a horrible 400lbs *more on that in a bit*), plus four dogs that weight, at least, 100lbs total, it causes for a very heavy amount to put on a damn bed frame. Then to top it off when I have insomnia I tend to roll around quite a bit. So I got a lovely surprise one morning. The bottom support went out & I went sliding from the top of the bed directly into the foot board. Since I didn’t know what happened & D & B were still asleep, I pulled the mattress & box springs off the frame & found the broken support. Once D woke up I had him come down to help me remove the frame. I got lectured about how I am not supposed to be moving heavy things (my fibro acts up every time I do & was no different this time). I thought the support just broke, but he found that the join had split. […] Continue Reading…

Playing with Beads

As you remember from the last post I was wanting to make myself stitch markers. Well, I bought a huge amount of beads, jump rings, jewelry tools, & fastenings. Then I went to work. They are not the greatest looking markers but they work. I am still learning how to wrap the wire & all the little idiosyncrasies that are part of it. I thought I would show you what I have done so far. Some of these are just for me, some may be up for sale, & some are Christmas presents for my crafting friends.

The following ones are more for the sweater or sock person. I am currently working on my first cardigan & as I read through the pattern, I realized that I am going to have left front, right front, right sleeve, & left sleeve all going on my needles. So I thought it might be handy to have a lobster claw clip with a letter bead on it to tell me which side I was knitting. Plus, I am modifying the sleeves & so this want I always know what […] Continue Reading…