I am still in that pit hole if depression. 
I have tried all month Jan-Feb to reach the top of this hole & it just isn’t getting there. I go through my days just ambling along, going through the motions of living. I honestly have no desire to do a single thing at all except sleep. Which I can’t do that all day cause 1.) my parents won’t let me 2.)the dogs won’t let me 3.) I wind up feeling like a bum if I do. I don’t feel like doing anything online, which you should be able to tell due to the fact half my bloody site is still down. My QBee quilt is still a mess & I need to have that up & running before the end of Feb. I am hoping to make my QBee quilt to match my web design, but I just have to find the desire to do it. I shouldn’t be hard, just getting the coding around to pull the correct files & such. I just have to do it.
Though at this point I think it would be a lot easier just to quit the QBee. I really don’t know if I am actually doing the club any good anymore. I used to be so excited & I couldn’t wait to get into the forums, now it seems like I have to drag myself there *but then I have to drag myself everywhere*. I just don’t know what to do. 
is a horrible mess. I backed everything up, but like my blog database it doesn’t want to import. *pulls hair out in frustration* All I get is this error over & over.
Error
SQL query:
–
– Dumping data for table `********`
–
INSERT INTO *a whole bunch of geek stuff that I don’t understand but don’t want in the online universe*
MySQL said:
#1062 – Duplicate entry ‘1′ for key 1
So I am going through the member list (up to #185 as I type this) one by one to see who I have traded with. Once I have the list complete I will re-build my quilt. I am not even going to try to re-build my activities quilts or what not. I am just don’t have that much energy right now. I am sorry, I am trying to beat this depression but it isn’t working very well & I keep falling in deeper. I honestly thought about quiting the QBee, but then I have no idea why I changed my mind to be perfectly honest. All my friends would still be here I haven’t picked up any new ones because I just can’t get that excited anymore over anything.
I have to pretend so much all day that everything is fine so my parents don’t worry, that I just don’t have the energy or the ugh to pretend online to get excited. It is sad that you all are the ones that have to pay the price, but I don’t know any other way. I just can’t pretend for everyone. Plus you have the option of not reading these if you don’t want to.
I know I have the site pages on the site, but there isn’t anything in them. I haven’t gotten anything in them, I am still typing up the pages offline so don’t bother clicking them.
In my offline world, I am busy stitching & trying to pull together a theme for Amarantine & a design for my quilt. Don’t count of either web projects to be done any time soon. My seizures are getting worse & my brain is becoming very dysfunctional. I even put my cell phone in the fridge the other day thinking it was the bread. This is just one of many things I do that is off.
So I had to go to the Dentist yesterday which was an experience in itself let me tell you. I have a horrible fear of the Dentist that I have had since I was just a little girl. No, I am not going to give you an in depth story, let me just tell you that it involves bleeding mouth for about three days & lots & lots of pain. Ever since I have problems going to the dentist. I have a very tender mouth & when my “Adult” teeth came in my mouth wasn’t big enough to hold them, so they came in crooked. Well, we never had money for braces so I lived with them. Personally, my teeth have hurt since day one & I would rather just pull them all & not have any, lol. When they came in they hurt & they have hurt ever since.
So I went to Dr. Medlin in Republic, MO yesterday to see just how bad my teeth were. My Topamax destroys teeth & make them break. I usually avoid going to the dentist unless I am in agony or my teeth break off. Over the Christmas holiday one of my “Canine” *that is what I call the sharp pointy ones” broke & started hurting. Yesterday was the earliest they could get me in. Well, it stopped hurting, but I have several holes, cracks, chips, & breaks in my teeth as it is, so Mom decided to go ahead & see how bad things were. They were really really bad. 
I had a complete set of x-rays only to find out that I have two options. Extractions or crowns. Guess what? We can’t afford fancy dental work so it is extraction of my teeth. I am going to get to be a toothless wonder. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
QBee Quilt
I got my qbee quilt set back up, but I have a horrible feeling that I am going to have to re-add every patch back into the database manually. The SQL isn’t wanting to import into the new database. Oh well, I don’t mind, just will take me a few more days to get everything around.
The Old Posts of Amarantine
I don’t really know if I want to keep trying to get the old database to import or if I just want to scratch it. I can re-type the pages here for the most part. I am really thinking of letting the past be the past & just completely starting over here. I have the gallery images uploaded on the server so I can get the galleries back up as soon as the pages are re-implemented. I still need to get some of the extra images uploaded to the servers, but I am trying to be very selective about what I put up cause I am not wanting to overload the space I have. Though I honestly doubt that I will ever run out of disc space or bandwidth, but you never know. :???:
New Theme?
I forget how much I hate using other people’s themes & layouts. So I will be creating one of my own. Some how, some way. I don’t care if I have to frankin it. I have downloaded Melly’s Clean & Nekkid themes & we are going to use her WP coding so hopefully I can handle the other part of the coding. This theme is about to kill me, lol. :lol:
I am a 29yr old sassy woman that enjoys making friends. I do have a seizure disorder so that makes it hard for me to be online & I do tend to forget things, so you may have to remind me sometimes. I am a little quiky & a little crazy, but very friendly. In my spare time I enjoy reading & counted cross stitch when my disorder allows me to stitch which is usually only about 15 minutes at a time.
