OK, I am just laying things out here. I will probably edit the layout this week & next week a bit. I have surgery next week & so I plan on doing a lot of site work while recovering *hoping to at least*
Sunday May 3, 2015
Monday May 4, 2015
Distance: 2.06 miles
Tuesday May 5, 2015
Distance: 1.12 miles
Wednesday May 6, 2015
Distance: 1.12 miles
Thursday May 7, 2015
Distance: 1.6 miles
Friday May 8, 2015
Distance: 1.22 miles
Saturday May 9, 2015
Distance: 1.34 miles
Sunday May 10, 2015
**Note: Dad’s Birthday, went to Red Lobster & had ice cream hence the horrible numbers**
Distance: .13 miles
This is basically what I am planning on telling you every week. If there are other stats that you would like to know, let me know & I’ll see what I can do. I may change the format & I may not.
I know I have been faithfully doing the daily post, but honestly it is getting to become quite tedious. So I think I am going to change it to once a week. Maybe just giving a breakdown of how my week went. I am not having enough time to get the post done daily & it upsets me when I don’t get done what I “need” to get done. So I think I am going to do it this way. Post it every Monday & just give a run down of the days & totals.
I also got a Fitbit Charge over the weekend & so I think I will add the steps, sleep, floors, etc to the run down also. In all truthfulness my diet doesn’t change. I eat the same things over & over again so I don’t really see how it helps anyone. I am sorry if I have let you down but I have to maintain this blog the way I can & doing it daily is just more than I can handle along with getting ready for surgery, online issues, private issues, depression, stress, etc.
I will set up the first weekly one to happen on Monday May 11, 2015. That will give me a full week with the Fitbit & monitoring my diet.
I am also tired of this color scheme, so it will more likely change sometime this week. I think I am going to go completely different from the purples. *hoping*
HA! Didn’t happen by a long shot. Failed horribly today. Honestly, I don’t care. I wanted every bit that I ate & don’t feel guilty about it.
Carnation Instant Nonfat Dry Milk, 3 tbsp
Freddy’s French Fries, 1 regular
Freedy’s Grilled Chicken Sandwich
Mini Strawberry Cheesecake Concrete
Philly Roll, 6 pieces
I will have one more meal this size or larger next week when it is my birthday celebration. I am a little afraid that I am going to get my surgery notification this week & then it will be on liquid diets & I won’t get my birthday celebration. Sushi I can have after surgery, the chicken domburi I can’t (the rice is a no-no). That is going to kill me I think I love rice & chicken domburi is my fav so yeah, I am eating it all right now, lol.
This is not a normal day for me. I normally would not eat the ice cream or the desserts. The supper would normally just be chicken Domburi & a salad. I wanted the gyoza & the sushi.
As for the fries? Well, I blame that on being a woman with hormones. *hint: I am getting ready for something*
I was having high hopes for this protein cause it is no carbs & I can use that help in cutting my carbs, lol. The first thing I noticed once I mixed the protein with the water (seeing if it was a clear liquid) was the smell. It, honestly, smells like old moldy vegetables. Not the most appetizing thing to smell. I tried it before adding the dry milk & it also tasted like it smelled. It was quite gross. I added the dry milk to try & help the smell & flavor. Nope, didn’t help. I love the amount of protein (50g) in each serving, but I just don’t think I could handle drinking it all the time. About halfway through the 12oz of it, my stomach did a flip-flop telling me it didn’t like it either. So this is a definite no-go for the future. I am afraid if I had to drink it often, I may not be able to keep it down.
Ok, I have not gotten the surgery yet. I am still waiting on approval from Medicaid & the surgeons. I don’t see any issue with it being approved though. I have the agreements of my primary care & shrink for the surgery. I am hoping for surgery the first part of May.
B & D are taking off for Vegas (without me) in April. Even leaving me alone for my birthday (first time I have ever been alone on my birthday). Not entirely happy about it, but what can I do about it? Just hopefully, I will be able to celebrate it in style (sushi & martinis) the weekend before!
The next fun thing is that I am on a 1500 calorie diet (before was 2000). Wanna guess how much weight I have lost???????? NONE! I have actually gained 3 lbs. Aaargh!!!! *pull my hair out* Brenda says not to worry about it, but I do. I worry about everything. *hence my anxiety issues* I look like I am losing weight, my clothes tell me I am losing weight, but the scale says differently. Oh well, at least I know that I can do this diet. I have already found my protein shakes & bars that I want to eat. *tastes just like a candy bar* We have the pudding ready & B says she will make me soup & help me with the other things I need.
I don’t know what I would do without the support from everyone. It means the world to me. Both my online friends & offline friends & family are just the best.
So I had my consult with the Weight Loss Surgical Center yesterday. They agreed that since I have tried just about everything the last thing for me to do is bariatric surgery. This is not a step I consider light or easy. I am currently scared to death & on the verge of saying fuck it & just letting myself go. Yes, I know that is not an option, so I guess I am stuck with surgery.
So I am going to get the gastric sleeve. I feel it will be the best option for me. I am not a compulsive eater, nor do I overeat a lot. I just don’t eat the “right” things. Basically, the surgeon is going to remove about 75% of my stomach & leave me with a banana shaped stomach. That is it. Since my main problem is that I am always hungry, I am thinking that this will help fix the issue.
Now come the part I am not horribly comfortable with. I am currently at 391 pounds. I don’t feel good, nor do I like how I look. Do not get the idea that I am not healthy though. Yes, I am pre-diabetic but have been that for over 10 years. I don’t have high blood pressure, or any other main weight caused illnesses. I just don’t feel good. It is hard for me to move around & do the things I want to do. The photos below is me. In my fat goddess fullness. Most of those were from my father’s wedding & I am actually bigger then this now. These are from last October through December. I don’t like photos so I don’t take them. I do plan on taking photos every other week going through this loss. This is why I am doing this. I can’t take this look anymore.
So fair warning to all of you. I am going to turn into a royal bitch. Anytime I am kept away from my food then I am horrible. So if I snap at you online, bitch at you, or just seem rude, please forgive me. I will get better, I promise.
We are going to work my way into the liquid diet for weight loss & getting used to not having my carbs & such. Giving up the sugar is not really a *huge* thing cause I have gotten used to eating a diabetic diet due to Mom having diabetes.
The HUGE upside??? If I lose the weight Brenda said that as my quick reward (big reward explained down the page) will be a trip to New York City. It will be just the two of us, but we are starting to get along quite well. She still has the things that irritate the hell out of me, but at the same time, I don’t have much choice in the matter. We both want to go to the history museum, shopping, a show, FAO toy store, etc. Thinking of just a quick three-day trip. The big reward??? ENGLAND!!!!! Yep, if I can fit in a damn plane there is no way in hell I am not going to England. Brenda also says she will take us to Paris (she wants to go) also. I am so excited for both of these, I just need to remember that there are HUGE plus sides to giving up my food.
So hopefully be back in a couple of week on this topic with more horrible pics for you. Wish me luck & support cause I am going to need it.