Category Archives:blogging

Tip Time: Bras!

OK, I am a big, heavy busted female. I hate bras, they are one of the worse things women have to wear, in my opinion. Yes, I have been fitted. Yes, I am wearing my correct size. Yes, I have tried every single type of bra they make. Trust me, that was very interesting. Strapless is not suited for me at all! So what is my tip?

I wear a 46DD get your mind out of the gutter people. I am NOT blessed with DD cups. They are horrible & very heavy. Every time I wear my bra the buckle slides down the strap & by the end of the day it is where it is at in the photo. Hmm…not very good for when you are trying for support. So how did I fix this problem??? I realize that someone out there in the wide world has this tip & is thinking I am crazy for posting a entire post about it. Guess what? My blog, my content, lol. It is really simple & invisible if using the same color thread as your bra strap. If you can handle a sewing needle then you can do this. Sew a button? Then you can do this. I promise!

 

Needed items:

  • Sewing thread in any color (I recommend button thread)
  • Sewing needle (just a regular sewing needle)
  • Thimble (if you need one, I don’t)
  • Scissors or a cutting tool (I use my nail clippers half the time)
  • Your bra or bras

Ok, thread your needle with the button thread. Personally, I take a long piece, thread my needle, then knot the two ends together. This way you have two (2) strands of thread that you will be sewing with. Move the buckle where you want it to remain. Now, take your needle & from the outside of your strap (the side that is next to your shirt) & stab both pieces of strap with the needle. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt, scream unless you stab your finger & you scream, or bite you again unless you stab your finger. Stab it close but not right next to the buckle bottom (the side of the buckle that is the lower side or the side that has two strap pieces going into it). Now pull it through & pull the knot snug to the strap. Get where I am going here???? If not, then I will continue. Next stab the underside of the strap (the side that is next to your skin) a bit away from the where you stabbed the strap the first time. Pull the needle & thread snugly again. GUESS WHAT!! You just made your first stitch! Congratulations! Now stab your needle back into the strap from the outside a bit away from where the thread is coming up at & pull snug. Then back up through the underside again. Depending on how wide your strap is will depend on how many times you need to repeat this motion. End at the other end of your bra strap with your thread & needle coming up from the underside of the strap. Now tie a knot in the thread. Snip it off. Now repeat this on the other strap & you are done. When completed it should look something like this:
See that little black line of stitches? No, I don’t hand sew in a straight line on these. That line prevents the buckle from sliding down & making the strap longer then I want it to be. Or in my head, making the girls less painful to lug around.

Now I know some of you are going to be thinking, “Why put the knots on the outside of the strap instead of the underside where they won’t be seen?” I am going to answer that right now. I have incredibly sensitive skin. Anything that is rough, bumpy, or odd feeling doesn’t sit well with me. I will either, get a rash, a blister yes, even something this small, or it will start to hurt. So by putting the knots on the outside of the strap, I have nothing next to my skin that irritates it. That mean, happier Hev!

If you use thread in the same or close to color of your strap then it is invisible. The knots are too small to show up through your shirts & unless your partner is closely inspecting your bra they won’t see it. Trust me, instead of inspecting your bra they should be thanking what ever Gods they pray to that you are letting them see your girls. If they are not thanking their Gods then you may want to consider what is going on there, lol.

Give this a try! One line of stitches keeps my buckle in place but feel free to do more then one if you want. Heck, take it to a sewing machine if you own one & do this on that. I just find it easier for me to hand sew them. Remember, I hand sew my buttons back on all the time with they come off. Do we need me to type up a tutorial on how to sew a button on??????

 

 

 

Yes, this is a humorous, tongue-in-cheek tip post, but I do stand by my tip. I do this to each & every single bra before I wear them. It has saved me a lot of back pain. I have tried it without doing it & the buckle always slides down & that makes my back hurt really bad. So with this I don’t have that issue. Try it & let me know what you think.

In The Year….2015

Did you get the song reference?1 I wanna know that I am not the only one that knows this song, lol.

BedSo I thought I would do a year in review this year since so much has happened to me. I don’t know that you will be that interested or that it will be that interesting, lol. But figured that I needed to or should do it. This is going to be a long post (though honestly I think all my posts are long, lol). So bear with me.

I am currently sitting in my bed writing this out the “old-fashioned” way by pen & paper. No telling how many revisions it will go through as I type it into the site, lol. Who knows it probably won’t be anywhere near the same by the time it goes live on the site, lol. Hence, why I normally just type my entries on the fly instead of writing them out. But I am downstairs & my computer is upstairs. Plus, I hate using my computer in my bed cause I try to keep my bed my reading, watching tv, & most importantly sleeping area only. But alas, I am getting off point of the entry once again.

So let’s get started shall we? There are only two issues so not too horrible, but long.

Issue One

scaleIn January 2015 I weighed 400 pounds (yes, four hundred pounds). Was I healthy? Not by my doctor’s standards, but I didn’t have high cholesterol, diabetes, or other diseases that most people that weight do. But I was starting to have a hard time moving around & was in tons of pain. I couldn’t fly, I couldn’t do a lot of things that I wanted to do. There was no way I could go walking or enjoying the outdoors like I want to. B brought up the idea of weight loss surgery & at first I completely dismissed it as more severe then I wanted to deal with. I couldn’t stand the idea of losing my food (I love the taste, texture, & look of food) & I was afraid, very afraid of that idea. But the suggestion stuck & it kept popping up & even though I was actively dieting every 12 pounds I would lose, I would gain them right back. I was doing water aerobics, walking (having a pit bull that loves to walk is a blessing) but I would not lose any weight. I was at my wit’s end. I was dead afraid I was going to be dead by the time I hit 45 from my weight. So I did tons of research (instead of playing Minecraft I was researching) on weight loss surgery & the options available. Talked it over with my friends & family. Surprisingly everyone was supportive with the idea & just wanted to make sure I was healthy & happy. Out of the three (3) types of weight loss surgery I chose the Gastric Sleeve over the the other two options. With the gastric sleeve the body works just the way mother nature designed the body to digest food. The only different is that the stomach is smaller & can only hold about four ounces (4oz). Otherwise, I digest food just the same way any non-gastric surgery person does. Nothing is skipped or bypassed. So I went to a couple of information seminars at my local hospitals & looked into my insurance to see if I could get part of it paid for. I was informed that neither hospital accepted my insurance. Majorly unhappiness happening when one of the nurses took me aside & gave me the information that there was a hospital in Kansas City, KS & Columbia, MO would accept my insurance. So I knew that I was going to have to travel to get my surgery & consults. Then she told me that Blue Valley Surgical Associates had a clinic in Springfield, MO (this town if fairly close to me). RoadThat immediately got me interested so I set up a consult with the office in February 2015 & off I went on the journey of a lifetime. I was approved for my surgery in March & got a surgery date for May 19, 2015. D & B went with me & we spent three (3) nights in Kansas City. Went up the day before surgery, spent the night in the clinic due to my insurance, & then one more night for me to rest before driving the four (4) hours home. Dr. Lawrence J. Drahota, MD was the surgeon that did my gastric sleeve. I have no complaints with my treatment at Blue Valley. In fact everyone one more then nice & wonderful with my care. They all were surprised that I was up & walking less then an hour after waking up from the surgery. But I am never one that likes to be bed ridden or stay in bed. I am always up & moving around no matter what. The seven weeks I was in the hospital for pneumonia just about drove me crazy, lol. break freeBy October 2015 I was down to 350 pounds. Now in January 2016 I am 293 pounds. That is over 100 pounds in eight (8) months. I can not tell you how good it feels to be over 100 pounds lighter. I can move easier & the pain I am in less amount. I can even fly to places in airplanes! I still eat most of my favorite foods just not the same amount & I have to make sure I eat enough protein & drink enough. But my blood work is beautiful & my nurse is quite pleased with my progress. I have to think B for the wonderful meals she prepares that provide me with all the nutrients I need for my weight loss & body. Without the support from my friends & family this weight loss would have never happen. It is amazing that I have gone from wearing 5x (34-36) size clothing to wearing 2x (26-28) clothing & even though they are getting too big also already, lol. My end goal is somewhere between 200 & 250 pounds. Here is hoping!

Issue Two

One of my goals in life is to go to London, see Stonehenge & other prehistoric monument over there. I am adding Paris since I know B wants to go back & I wouldn’t mind seeing the art museum in Paris. That was also one of the reason to lose the weight. At 400 pounds there was no way I could fly. To be perfectly honest, traveling was the main reason for the weight loss before health & looks, lol. I know that isn’t right, but if it got the job done then it is fine. flightIn November 2015 I went on my first flight in my life. Over Thanksgiving week we all flew out to Las Vegas. We went then to avoid the crowds & to make it easier for family members having to figure out how to visit our house along with everyone else’s house. It made for an interesting experience. D actually had to push me onto the plane the first time. I got to the gangway & my brain immediately decided that it wasn’t going to go with this anymore & basically refused to let me move forward all the while telling me that I couldn’t do it. D refused to listen to me & shoved me onto the plane & into my seat, lol. Las Vegas So I flew from Kansas City, MO to Las Vegas, NV. I can tell you this. I dislike the take off & the first turn. After that nothing really bothered me not even the landing. So will I be flying again? Yep, in April 2016 we are all going to Cancun. Yep, beach time for this woman. That is another thing I have always wanted to do. Go to the ocean & see the beach! I can’t wait for it! May make this tax season worth dealing with everything, lol. You can read all about my trip to Las Vegas here.

That is basically the two main things that happened to me this year. It was an exciting year & I hope that 2016 is a exciting year for me also.

1 In The Year 2525 by Zager & Evans

Las Vegas – November 2015

This blog entry is gong through my vacation to Las Vegas, Nevada on November 23, 2015 through November30, 2015. I am going with my Father & Step-Mother.

!!WARNING!!: This post is very photo intense. Please be patient in letting it load.

November 23, 2015 at 7:35pm:
So I am sitting in the Kansas City Airport typing this entry. This is the first time I have ever been on a plane. To say that I am scared & anxious is a minor thing. If you have read most of what I write you know that I suffer from severe agoraphobia (fear of the open market, i.e. crowds & loud noises), panic disorder, & social anxiety disorder. If you agree that all this makes it very hard for me to leave my house you would be correct. Hence, why I go to my father’s office every weekday. Plus, that is why I live with him & my stepmother. So this trip is a HUGE deal for me. I really want to go to London sometime in my life. I have never been on a plane & agree with my father that I need to have a few domestic flights under my belt so that is why I am taking a 2 hour flight first. Hoping I can do it.

Every thought that can has come & gone several times in my head. Plane crashing, plane blowing up, lost luggage (am told can’t happen on a non-stop flight), getting lost or separated from Family, not being allowed on the plane for some reason, strip searched, etc. Get my mental issue yet?????

So we haven’t gone through TSA & are just sitting in the terminal waiting for the gate to open & we can board. Have I mentioned that I am doing this flight without my knitting???? Yep, after the bombings in Paris, France I thought it would be better not to have the knitting needles with me on the plane so my knitting is being separated from me &is checked. Can I just say that not having my main anxiety controlling thing with me is not good. But I was more afraid that I would lose them if I tried to carry them with me. Now if I do manage to go to London then I will have to have it with me. I even slimmed down my planned knitting. I just brought socks along with me. The salt-&-pepper socks I am making for Dad & two more skeins for socks for Brenda. I am going to try to make hers two-at-a-time on a long circular needle. When I get home I want to buy a 10in needle & try to make them inside each other like double knitting. That is why I am making a World of Warcraft Horde double knit scarf for Grace. I wanted to learn how to double knit &needed a semi-simple project. I never do new knitting challenges easy, I prefer to jump in with both feet. Even if I wind up frogging & re-starting the project several times in order to get it to look right. But I am getting off topic at the moment, aren’t I? Again you should know that I do that & be used to it, lol.

I have to give a HUGE thank you to Grace {http://gracefullycrafting.com/} & Jessica {http://crochetjessica.com/} for everything they have done & for all the motivation & support they have given me.

November 24 – 27, 2015:
So we landed & nothing happened to the plane (thank goodness). I have determined (lol) that flying isn’t that bad & I shouldn’t have feared it so much. I do freely admit, I do not like the take off & turns very much, but it is manageable. We had a fairly smooth flight. I got to see mountains (MOUNTAINS) in the light of the full moon. They are beautiful! I told D & B that I wanted a daytime flight sometime to see the ground. So maybe if I go out again in April 2016 we can fly in the day time.

We stayed at the Golden Nugget {http://www.goldennugget.com/lasvegas/} on Fremont Street. B doesn’t like staying on the main Strip & after seeing it I don’t blame her one bit. D also enjoys staying on Freemont so I didn’t have any say in that issue. Now before I go on I want you all to realize something. I do not gamble. Personally, I think it is a waste of time & money. But this is my opinion. So why stay at a casino in the gambling capital of the USA???? B & D both gamble with B doing the most of it. I can’t complain too much (other then the amount spent) because we got seven (7) nights comped between the two rooms. The hotel rooms were very nice & spacious. Very clean & very comfortable. I have no complaints one bit about the rooms. I, honestly, spent a lot (A LOT) of time in my room due to my mental issues but it was comfortable enough that I enjoyed my time & quiet, I did walk Fremont Street several times. In total I think I walked over 15 miles this week, lol. That is the most I have walked in a very long time. The best part? I did it without a lot of pain & not getting out of breath! I could have done it at 400lbs but it would have been very painful & not good for me, lol. Thank goodness I had the support, love, & motivation from everyone to do the surgery &the weight loss afterward.

The restaurants were very good. If you ever go to the Golden Nugget you need to eat at the Claim Jumper {http://www.claimjumper.com/}.the food is wonderful. The portion size is HUGE even by my old standards, lol. To my new standards it is enormous. There is no way I can eat it all. But it is perfect to share. We also tried the Cadillac Mexican Kitchen & Tequila Bar {http://www.cadillacbar.com/}. It was ok, but it is a sports bar so it has that type of food. Nothing horrible, but nothing wonderful either. For our last meal in Vegas we ate at Lillie’s Asian Cuisine {http://www.lilliesasiancuisine.com/}. It was very good, but just your normal chinese/hibatchi grill food. The portions at Lilli’s is decent sized. D & I shared a sweet & sour chicken with a appetizer of potstickers (I ate 4 of the 5) & 1/3 of the sweet & sour chicken. While D ate the rest. It was a good sweet & sour chicken, though a little on the sweet side. The chicken was very tender & easy to eat, If we eat there again, I am going to share again with D or B & get a appetizer to share.

As far as my diet goes, no I did not follow it very much. In my own defense I was on vacation& wanted to enjoy the sights, smells, & food. I may have eaten a few things I shouldn’t have (Starbucks Chia Tea Fraps, brownie, Cool Ranch Doritos, Mr. Goodbar, & Payday only about 1/3 of each of the last 3) but I wanted it & I was doing more then enough walking to not worry about the calorie count. It was not like I was sitting in my room pigging out like I used to, lol. My worst offense? The 5 bottles of Dr. Pepper I drank. One a day was all I had & now that I will be back home I can go back to my coffee (I only like a certain brand of coffee & won’t drink any other kind plus it doesn’t upset my stomach) & tea that is sweetened to my own taste & not with Sweet N Low. I prefer Splenda or Truvia to sweeten my tea but I can’t rely on places having it. Plus, I didn’t think TSA (Transportation Security Administration) {https://www.tsa.gov/} would appreciate me bringing on several packages of sweetner for my vacation, lol. I was nervous enough with my tablet & laptop coming aboard with me. My precious knitting is once again in the checked luggage cries & so I get to worry about it not making it home with the plane, lol.

Side note: I am actually typing this while flying back to Kansas City, MO at 03:05am (Vegas Time). I should be sleeping but the plane was delayed for an hour & I had a mild panic attack on the way to the TSA area. I do find it interesting that on the way to Vegas I wasn’t cold, now on the way home, I am cold & glad I have my sweater (though not the one I was supposed to have knitted for myself) with me. Everyone on the plane is sleeping I think other then D & I though I know that isn’t true, lol. I should try to sleep, but flying is still new enough to me that I am not comfortable sleeping. Heck, I rarely will sleep riding in a car anymore.

We went to the Fashion Show Mall on Wednesday & they had a Lego Store {http://shop.lego.com/en-US/} & a American Girl {http://www.americangirl.com/} store. Of course, I had to go into both stores. The Lego store was a mind trip (I love legos, just don’t have the storage space for them & so have to be very careful of the ones that I choose) to see all the sets & the ability to buy single bricks & pieces. Yes, I picked up a beautiful lego set for myself. I also picked up a small set for DB as a souviner from me. I just hope he doesn’t have it already. I know I am not a child, but you tell me how may children would be able to put those birds together? It is a 12+ set. It was a toss up between the birds or another big Minecraft set, lol. I figured that the birds would be easier to place around my area since they are three (3) separate birds then one large Minecraft set. Plus the birds were within my budget where the Minecraft one would have been about $10 over & I knew that there would be other things I wanted to purchase while in Vegas. I didn’t buy a thing at the American Girl store. I always wanted one of those dolls, but they were way out of my family’s budget so I never got one. Oh, I know that if I had asked they would have found a way to get me one, but I knew that it would mean lean times & going without something (on their side) so I never asked for one. So instead I just read the catalog/magazine from cover to cover & imagined which one I would get & all the books (honestly, I think it was the books I wanted the most, lol) that came with them.

From the mall we took another taxi to Belligo Casino {https://www.bellagio.com/en/casino.html} to see the decorations. B was hoping that they would have the Christmas decorations up but it was still Fall decorations, but that was just fine with me cause Christmas is not a big thing to me. I loved the decorations.they had three (3) Ents, large tree (green man maybe?), large squirrals, scarecrows, a massive water wheel, & a huge basket. The lobby ceiling was decorated with tons of butterfly shapes of which I had to take photos of along with the fountains, lol.

Flickr Album

After we were through walking through the Belligo we decided to walk part of the Strip. So off we went. Honestly, it was too loud, too many people, & just noisy for me. But I was a good sport & went along. Along the Strip you have to go up & down to go over roads & such. Most of the time they have escalators or elevators to handle this. For some reason the first one we came too the elevator was out of order & the only option was to climb the stairs unless we wanted to backtrack a block. So up the stairs we went. I will have you know that I climbed both those flights of stairs without a problem. Well, I was mildly out of breath (not gasping or noticeable by anyone looking at me) & my right knee hurt (I have fallen on my right knee so much that the doctors have warned me that if I do it again I have a chance of cracking it) but it wasn’t anything I had to worry about. I stopped & leaned against the guardrail for about a minute & then on we went. B wanted to go to the M&M store but she got very tired & cold so we called it a day & then found out that the M&M store was now a Hershey store & she didn’t want to go to that., So we went back to the Golden Nugget, had dinner & then crashed in the rooms, lol.

On Thursday we went to the Mirage Casino {http://www.mirage.com/en.html} to visit Siegfried & Roy’s Secret Garden And Dolphin Habitat {http://www.mirage.com/en/amenities/siegfried-roys-secret-garden-and-dolphin-habitat.html}. The Secret Garden? Do you know what is in that Secret Garder? No? Heck even if you know, I am going to tell you. WHITE TIGERS!!!!!!!! OH & WHITE LIONS!!!!! The best part???? BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes, it needed every single one of the exclaimnation points Plus, Dolphins! I have never seen a live dolphin before. They are so graceful & cute looking. Though I would never want to be in the water with one (too many nature shows, lol) The White Lions were cool looking. They looked a lot different then I imagined them to look, but I had never seen one before. Now I can say I have seen three (3) of them, lol. My favorite??? Seeing the four (4) white tigers. The babies were out & there was one (1) white & one (1) orange baby, but they seemed to be traumitized by the attention they were getting, honestly. All the animals looked a little traumitized but then there was about 80 people in the small area looking at them & several children were banging on the guardrail semi-yelling at the animals to growl or roar for them. Why can’t parents teach their children to be respectful of other creatures? shakes head in sadness The White Tigers were moving around & one even sprayed the crowd that was semi-yelling at it to growl or roar. yes, even the adults were being rude to the animals All in all the animals were very active & quite happy to stand close to the fence and/or walk along it for pictures. It was my favorite part of the Vegas trip. Even though if I had my wish all animals would be wild & free with no worry for food, habitat, or hunting but I know that will never happen.

Flickr Album

I even took video of the Dolphin training session & a short one of the tigers. Please bear with the videos. They were shot on my phone & I am not the best at it.

Youtube Playlist

As normal I did buy a stuffed animal from the Secret Garden. A White Lion (I have several white tiger animals already).
Friday was mostly spent hanging around the hotel cause of Black Friday & the fact that we had a 1am fly out from Vegas (supposedly 1am, more on that later). D & I went & walked Fremont Street one more time to see the people & the preformers (more on that later also). After that we went back to the room to wait until 10pm to get a taxi to the airport. We hit a snafu with the check out but they got it all sorted out. The clerks got the comped room time messed up & wanted to charge us for two (2) nights when there was supposed to only be one night charged. We had to go to the Casino Host in order to get it figured out & I think they actually gave us the room for about $50 instead of the $135. D says he will check the credit card statement when it comes in to make sure. Then we get to the airport & find out that the plane was delayed until 2am (Vegas time) & so we were sitting in the airport for three (3) hours instead of one (1) hour. Not pleased, but what are you going to do? We boarded at about 02:15am (Vegas time) & at the moment (5:57am, Kansas City) we are getting ready for the initial descent into the airport. I am not looking forward to this drive home. Supposedly Kansas City is having freezing rain & 30*F temps. Cold cold cold. We still have to catch the shuttle to the car port, pick up the car, eat some breakfast & then drive four (4) hours home. Once home we get to unload the car then go pick up the babies from the boarders. Then home & too bed for a nap. I have Sunday to get my sleeping habits back to normal for the 08am wake up for work on Monday morning. I highly doubt this is going to be a fun week for me, lol. But it will be back to normallacy for me, lol.

I have to admit I handled this week very well. No seizures only a few twitches (had a fire alarm with strobes so that set the twitches off), about 10 anxiety attacks & only two major panic attacks. I listened to myself & went to the room once I had enough of the noise & people yet didn’t run the minute I felt the need to. I do admit that D did have to slightly push me to get me on the plane, but I didn’t resist too much. I kept repeating “Testing for England” over & over in my head the entire time I was walking down the ramp, lol. But I am very proud of myself cause I got on the plane, didn’t have too much problem (don’t like the take off or the initial turns) with the flight. Heck, I read most of the way to Vegas & I have spent the two (2) hours on the way back from Vegas typing this post, lol. If that don’t beat all I don’t know what would, lol. I am still wide awake & have been up since 10am (Vegas time) on Friday. Sigh, it is going to be a long day. But I will have my knitting on the way home if D drives, lol. I am almost done with his blasted heel, lol. Maybe finish the heel by the time I get home if I don’t fall asleep or need to drive. He swears he is fine to drive the first leg & possibly the last leg, but I am going to wait & see. B? Oh, she brought her pillow & blanket with her in the car so she is going to sleep on the way home. Hmmm…interesting.

The plane ride back was uneventful other then the turblance at the end of the flight & the fact that I didn’t need to hold onto D while taking off. It was a little bumpy but nothing too bad. Kinda like a dirt road, lol. One full of air instead of dirt & rock, lol. We had cloud cover & watching the plane descend through the clouds was freaky looking. That is the only way I can describe it. Pretty but freaky looking. Kansas City, hopefully, will not be covered in ice & the driving will be

I am going to remember that using the flight time to type out blog posts is a wonderful way to fill the time if I don’t want to read.

Anyhoo that was our trip to Las Vegas & I do plan on going out with them again when they go. But this time it will be more solo action from me or at least I hope so.

BLOG CHALLENGE #12: What do you think you are most misunderstood for?

Misunderstanding

I am most misunderstood for my mental issues. Everyone that doesn’t know me or understand the illness (which is most people) automatically think I am a danger to them & society. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am not a danger to anyone. Yes, I have grand mal seizures, but does that make me dangerous? Nope, not in the least. I do not seem very social but that is because of my Agoraphobia. Again that doesn’t make me dangerous. I am tired of seeing parents & people look at me like I am going to whip out a gun & start a shooting spree. Yes, I don’t like being in crowded places, they make me think I am going crazy, but I don’t own a gun nor am I ever inclined to shoot anything. Hell, I can’t even kill a bloody mouse that was in my house & didn’t get killed in the trap. Know what I did? I took it to my father & he killed it. Same with the bloody snake I found in my bed. Did I kill it? Nope, took it outside & released it back into the woods. Now does that sound like someone who is mentally unstable??? I don’t think so.

People also think since I am very quiet I am stuck up. The real issue? I don’t make small talk easily. In fact, I am horrible at it. So I tend to be very quiet & people either think I am stuck up or extremely shy. Get me started on something I am passionate about (like animals, knitting, crafting, reading, etc) & I’ll talk your ear off, lol. Bug again, people don’t see that about me. They just see the shy & quiet female sitting off in the corner being the loner that she is.

My point here, is please, be understanding of that quiet person that seems to be out of place. They may not be stuck up or shy, they may just not be good at handling social situations. Be understanding of other people. Give them time to warm up to the situation.

My WoW Characters

Thanks to Jessica, Grace, Katherine, & Zeb I have gotten hooked on World Of Warcraft (WoW). I played the free version off & on for the last few years, but never bought the game. Jessica & Grace kept on about how fun it was & so I decided to give it another try. This time I had help figuring out what I was supposed to do & how to do it. After about two (2) weeks of solid playing I noticed that there was a sale on the base game for $10. I snapped it up & got a monthly subscription to the game.

I do not consider myself to be a hard core WoW player. I mostly just do the quests & level up. I rarely play with anyone unless Jessica or Grace are running me through dungeons. They are both high level & I am a measly 40 level (at the time of typing this) so they can one shot everything & I don’t die, lol.

My Characters

You can click on the pictures for larger views

This is Kinthua or Kinthy for short. She is a Pandarian Hunter. She normally runs with a tiger pet named TigerEye, but I just tamed this White Wind Serpent.

Kinthy is my main Horde character. Both Jessica & Grace are mainly Horde so I thought I needed to have one one that side even though I, normally, tend to lean to the Alliance side. But I am pleased with Kinthy. Though she does move a lot slower then my other taller characters, lol. Those short little furry legs, lol.

She is finally mounted though. She started with a Purple Dragon Turtle at level 20 & then she just now moved up to a Great Red Dragon Turtle today at level 41.


This is Kudralii or Kudra for short. She is a Draenei Hunter of level 40 (at the time of this writing). She has a Night cat for her pet. I prefer cats as companions as they seem to take a lot of damage & give a lot of damage to their opponents. Anyhoo, I love the Draenei characters. Thanks to Jessica I keep calling them goats cause they look a little like goats. I think goats are adorable so it was perfect.

Kudra is my absolute favorite character. I leveled her first & if I am just playing to play, I normally will play her. Only problem is that she is Alliance & most of my friends are Horde. Though Jessica & now Grace both have high level Alliance characters, I normally play Horde with them. If I could move Kudra over to Horde I would in a second. I know that you can by paying for it, but I just don’t really want to do that so she stays on Alliance.

She is mounted on a Great Purple Elekk at level 40 & was riding a Purple Elekk at level 20. Once I get the ability to I will mount her on a White Ram to further be a goat like creature, lol.


This is Paoani a Tauren Druid. I wanted to play something other then a hunter & when Grace told me these shapeshift I was hooked. She is not a high level at the moment only level 8, but I play on getting her up there. I want to see her mounted & what shapes she shifts into. So far she shifts into a bear & cat. I have admit that I miss having a pet but she is growing on me. I just don’t like the Tauren starting area so I am struggling with getting through it. I think once I get through the starting area I will do just fine with her. I am looking forward to the different spells she preforms. I am also curious as to how her Kodo mount will look.


This is Raineka or Raine for short. She is a Orc Mage. Yes, another non-hunter! I honestly want to keep her, but I am not connecting with her one bit. But I am pushing through & again I think once I get out of the starting area I will be fine. I want to play a mage so I can see all the spells & such that they can do. I didn’t want another Draenei cause I still remember playing the starting area & wanted something different. So I choose Orc. She doesn’t look bad, I love her hair color. But I still think Orcs need more choices, lol.


So those are my main characters. I also have two Death Knights (a Draenei & Tauren) that I haven’t touched, but I was playing in character creation & loved the names so they are sitting inactive until I level up Kinthy & Kudra to high levels. I also have a Troll Shaman, Drawf Hunter, & a Goblin Hunter that are sitting around though I am close to deleting the Goblin. I just don’t like her questing or her anymore.

I have to give shout outs to Jessica & Grace for giving me the wonderful starting gifts. Most of the time it is larger bags & gold. They are both so sweet to me. They both paid for my mounts & told me to start auctioning off my mining, skinning, & herbs to get better pay. I was just selling it to the innkeeper & sellers. If I didn’t have everyone helping me then I highly doubt I would have started playing. But I am getting addicted to it or as they put it I am getting corrupted, lol.

BLOG CHALLENGE #11:Describe what your biggest fear is and why.


fear

My biggest fear (I, honestly, have several) is a multiple of fears, but I will talk about one of the main ones.

Fear of the Pitch Black

When I was about six (6) months old, I got really sick. Mom took me to the doctor & he gave me penicillin for the illness. Mom was very careful about what she gave me so she only gave me a half of the dose. She said that I started screaming at everyone. Any hands or movements scared me to death. Mom took me back to the doctor & he told her that it was a severe reaction & that if she had given me the full dose I might have died. So no more penicillin or any version of it for me.

Since then, if I am in a pitch black room or place I constantly see all kinds of hands (both human & monster) reaching for me out of the dark. I know that it is nothing, & sometimes can ignore it but with my anxiety disorder my mind takes off running with the fear. Hence, there is always nightlights in my house & my bedroom is dark, but not pitch black. Hence why power outages are not a good thing. I will leave a flashlight on & waste the batteries just so I can sleep without the horrible hallucinations I get.

Agoraphobia

ag·o·ra·pho·bi·a
[ag-er-uh-foh-bee-uh]
an abnormal fear of being in crowds, public places, or open areas, sometimes accompanied by anxiety attacks.

 

This is my official diagnose as to what is wrong with me. I am not afraid to go outside I do like the crowds, noises, or the crush of too many people. That is what the phobia means. Basically, you know that “flight or fight” rush you feel sometimes? That is how I feel every time I am out in public. The meds I take are to help with the sensation, but they only “help” nothing will ever take the feeling or phobia completely away.

Due to the agoraphobia I get depressed (cause I want to be out in public with people & get lonely) & if I have too much stimuli (public, people, noise, etc.) I will have an anxiety attack or even a grand mal seizure. So hence, most of my friends are online (even that can be too much for me sometimes). This is also why I rarely play games with anyone. Some people are not understanding about this condition.

I am always afraid that I am going to have a seizure in public, everyone gathers around me shudder, calls an ambulance, & I go to the hospital. This would be a vicious circle.

  1. Stimuli starting
  2. seizure happened
  3. people gather around, I wake up to see the people
  4. all the way back to #1
  5. Ambulance comes, more attention paid to me, more anxiety & seizures
  6. all the way back to #1
  7. Hospital trip, money out, worried about how to pay, more anxiety, more seizures, more attention
  8. all the way back to #1

See the vicious circle? It is never ending. The best thing that can happen to me is to have my seizure in a private place (bathroom stall, car, etc.) This is why if I am out with people I run to the bathroom sometimes. I am feeling overwhelmed & have to get to a quiet & alone place. People don’t understand my problems & I ether get told I am faking it or just want attention. which is funny cause getting attention is a big part of the cause

So now you know what I am scared of. Just remember that I may live in the “flight or fight” rush all the time & I will always try to get away, but there is those few times that I choose to fight. hence, high fast burning temper that blows Hopefully this helps you understand me a bit better, lol.

Gaming Part 2

This is a two (2) part blog post. This is the second one & the first one is here.

People I Watch

When I go to the office with Dad (almost every single day) I get to sit, greet clients, knit, & watch youtube or movies. So these are the youtube players that I watch all the time. I highly recommend you give them a try.

I have about 50 subscriptions to different Youtube accounts of ones that I watch every now & then, but those six (6) are the main ones I watch every time there is a new video out.

This one has been recommended by Katherine as one to watch. I haven’t gotten into watching him yet, but so far he sounds like it is going to be good.

My Play Style

Since I never grew up playing games (at least this is why I believe I am this way) I never learned to play with others in video games. Hence, why I do not join public servers or normally play with other people.
I find it difficult & I never know what to do or how to handle playing with other people I know. This is why World of Warcraft (WOW) is so confusing to me. I am not used to dealing with other players instead of just game NPCs. This is why I normally only play single player games like Minecraft. I can play by myself & I don’t have to worry about griefers or other people edging in on my battle or building. Too many times I have dealt with people taking my kill or battle away from me in WOW that I only play when it isn’t horribly crowded & even then I have to deal with them. I, normally, find that I don’t enjoy playing with other people besides people I have already knew from before. This does not mean that I won’t but normally it will have to be a game I know very well (i.e. Minecraft) hence why I will play with my friends on servers every now & then. I am jut used to being a loner & playing by myself.

Gaming Pt. 1

This is a two (2) part blog post. This is the first one & the second one here.

Yeah, I do play games. Do I call myself a gamer? Nope, I don’t. I am very picky about my games & rarely spend any money on them. Basically, if I don’t get a free trial then I don’t play it most of the time. The one main time it was different was Minecraft. The two main games I play are Minecraft & World of Warcraft (WOW). Minecraft I paid for back when it was in Beta. WOW I only play the trail version. I just can’t bring myself, on my limited budget, to purchase the game & a monthly subscription.

I used to play the Sims. I was completely addicted to it. Even though it took the game a hour (a hour!) to load on my computer at the time. Then one day for some reason I took the time to total up the entire cost of the games & it floored me. I had spent over $2000 on the games & for what? Yes, I bought Sims 4 & the first expansion. Played it for a month & uninstalled it. It was the same old same old. Enjoy other games more. Ever since my addicted Sims time, I am very careful of the games I play. Yes, I am addicted to Minecraft, but it only cost me $20 & that is it. I can handle that, plus there is a lot more game play (to me) in Minecraft.

My Games

I am weird when it comes to games. I do not like nor understand army games, shoot em up games, & other games along that line. I grew up with Super Mario World, Kid Icarus (loved that game), etc. I didn’t play Call of Duty, Halo (still kinda want to play that series), Assassin Creed, etc. Those games never really interested me any. I had a Gameboy & that was it. All other games were on my computer & I didn’t get one of those until I was 13. So yeah, I didn’t grow up with games. Didn’t have a Nintendo console, xbox, etc until last year when I bought a Wii-U & even that was mainly for B’s grandson when he comes over to play. I think I have played it three times. The games I have on it are Super Mario World 3d, Zelda (trying to get into that game, Metroid (loved it on my gameboy, console not so much), & Lego Hobbit. Of those the main one I play is Super Mario World 3d. Yeah, biiiiig gamer here, lol  . Yes, I do own some games that are outside my comfort zone like Dead Space 1 – 3 (thanks so much for this, Guude). Check Guude’s youtube videos out, they are quite good & he is wonderful to watch & listen too. I will have more on who I watch later in the post, I think.

Do not take what I am about to talk about as saying that game developers do not deserve every bit of credit and/or money, they do. I, personally, hate paying for something that I am eventually going to beat & then not want to play anymore. This happened all the time on my gameboy & a few of the computer games I played growing up. That is one of the reasons why I love Minecraft. You “beat” the game, yet there is still so much you can do with it. No, I no longer go spam click crazy when I run into more then two monsters but it is still a huge amount of fun for me. If a game has not extended gameplay like that then I don’t really want to spend my limited budget on it.

Minecraft

Minecraft is the main game that I play. By that I mean when I first turnt he computer on, the three programs that are started is Minecraft, Chrome, & Thunderbird. Yep, in that order. I spend my days playing Minecraft, surfing the internet, chatting with my friends, knitting, & playing minecraft. Did I mention playing Minecraft? Knitting & Minecraft are the two major things, besides my friends, animals, & family, that I have to have in my life. The main thing I do in Minecraft is explore, cave & hoard all the items, blocks, & so on. Yep, I have a huge problem. But I am ok with it. Every now & then the build bug hits me & I build villages. Small numerous villages. My favorite thing is to take a generated village & make it bigger with more villagers. Below are some of my builds. Please, don’t judge them. I recently played Queen & destroyed a lot of my maps & don’t have a copy of the bigger builds that I have done. Some of them are re-builds of other things I have seen online & liked. Yes, I play a heavy modded Minecraft. Every mod that I play with is one that I enjoy playing & doesn’t let you cheat unless you really want too. Yes, I use X-Ray mod, but I never use it unless I have dug & dug & still can not find out where the bloody monster is. Then if I see any ores or such, I dig them up & dump them into lava cause I didn’t play to get them.

World of Warcraft

This is Sylleynre (Sell-e-near) my night elf & her pet, Nightfang. She is my Hunter & the one that gets played the most. I want her outfit to be very mystic looking. I love Nightfang & would love to get him amor, but I think you have to be a paying player to get that. I may decide to pay for it someday, but as of right now, I’ll stick to the free trial version. I spend most of my time & effort in playing this one. I enjoy the hunter class & love that I can hit the enemy once & the pet will take care of the rest. Though I do step in most of the time so that Nightfang doesn’t get too low.

This is Oladra (Ola-dra) my blood elf. She is my only Rogue. She is played the second most. Basically when I don’t want to play with Sylleynre I play with her. I love the looks of her & I am trying to get enough money to buy her new armor that suits her more then what she has. I love her weapons or at least the looks of them. But I want her clothing to be this kick-ass suit of armor & I have to earn the money to pay for it.

I have other characters & classes, but these two are the ones that get the most play time. It is slow going & sometimes I get pissed cause other players cut in on the battle that I am trying to win but that is what you have to deal with while playing a game with other people you don’t know in it.


In the next post…

I will talk about how I play, why I play that way & what really pisses me off about games. Plus, I will give you the list of youtubers I watch while AFKing or knitting.

Is It Rude To Knit In Public

I came across this article via my twitter feed.

So I went to the article {here} & read the article. Needless to say, it riled me just a bit.

Well, you all know that I am a knitter. I do it for multiple reasons. The main one? It helps control my anxiety & panic attacks. That means I can leave my house & go into public without a lot of panic attacks. Yes, I take medication for my anxiety, but I automatically have a “flight or fight” response to any outside stimuli (crowds, loud noises, etc). For crying out loud, if I sit directly underneath a speaker at the movie theater I can have a panic attack1. So even though my medication allows me to actually get myself out the door most mornings, I still have anxiety attacks with any other stimuli. It is a horrible mental condition to have & it isn’t made easier by the general public. Some people when they see you are having a problem will actually make it worse even when you have asked them nicely & politely to stop doing what they are doing. So no, public does not make it better or easier.

Yes, I have knitted everywhere I go. I have even managed to knit, walk, shop, & carry on a conservation with two other people all at the same time. Now if I can do that I want you to sit there & tell me that I am not paying attention to what is going on around me. I knit during movies, after I finish eating (I don’t eat a huge amount of food so I finish first), shopping, riding in a car, etc. All while paying attention & carrying on a conservation with those around me. I do admit that I don’t sit in the front row & I never call attention to myself. I only knit small items (aka: socks) while doing it in public so that it is small & I don’t have any wild movements going on.

So no, I do not think it is rude to knit in public. I find talking to someone that is looking at their phone to be much worse then knitting. Most knitters can knit & have their attention split between the knitting & other things. Heck, I knit at stop lights while waiting for it to change to green. I can knit three (3) stitches in that time frame. Yet, I am still watching the light & cars around me.

1 Panic attacks = Grand Mal Seizure
Anxiety Attacks = shakes, running away, or tremors of my whole body, physical sickness, plus multiple other symptoms my brain throws at me to try & get me to leave the stimuli that is causing the problem.

Blog Challenge #1: Your current Relationship or how you enjoy being single!

As far as romantic relationships are concerned I am single, thank goodness. I have yet to determine a reason, a desire, or use for a husband or boyfriend. My medication messes up my bodies natural “needs” so I don’t have my hormones driving me to do something I don’t need to do. Not to mention the the risk of STD’s or pregnancy that I don’t need or want. Nothing it 100% effective.

The best part of being single is the simple fact that I can do what I want & when I want. If I want to go out to see a movie I get to choose what I want to watch & when I want to watch it. I get to choose where to eat & what I want to eat (diet withstanding of course). I do not have to worry about what anyone else wants to do or eat unless I have chosen to go with them. I enjoy my single life & probably won’t change it until Dad and/or Brenda is gone. I like companionship but only when I want it. I tease & joke that I need a companion that I can put in the closet & only take out when I need it. Maybe something like an android that I can turn off when I want alone time, lol.

Due to my mental issues (anxiety, panic disorder, & agrophobia) I have to have time just to myself with no one else around. Hence, why I stay home alone at least once a week. Since I am also a introvert it is crucial for me to have my alone time. If I don’t have it I become mentally exhausted & that is quickly followed by my fibro flaring up & physically exhaustion. This explains why I do not do the “bar” scene or “crowd” scene.

I enjoy the fact that my friends are online & too far away for me to easily visit them. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to meet my friends but it is terrifying, not terrifying, & exhausting to meet them. Eventually I do plan on meeting some of them, but I am still working up the courage to do so, lol.

As for non-romantic relationships go, I love & adore my friends. I may not have a lot of friends that are physically around me, but I have a lot of online friends. I honestly don’t know what I would do without them. I may never physically meet them, but I know that they are there for me whenever I need them. Just like I am there for them when they need me.

I have another type of relationship that most people will consider weird, but I need & want it. I am talking about my relationship with my animals. You know what a service animal is so this relationship type is not completely unusual. I have Allie & Shiloh for my service animals along with beloved pets. Allie handles my seizures by laying on my while I am having them or sitting on me before I have them. Shiloh is my comfort animal. He will sit in my arms & cuddle with me whenever I am having an anxiety or panic issue. It helps calm me down quite a bit. Allie will do the same thing, but she is more “nursemaid” then cuddlier. If I could take a service animal with me everywhere it would make a huge difference, but it very difficult to get a service animal that is for my issues & make it legal. Plus, it would cause undue attention to me which would cause more anxiety & panic issues. I am danged if I do & danged if I don’t.

These are my relationships. I choose to remain single & will remain that way until I find a need or want for a husband or boyfriend.

Knitting Tax *wink*