I did a doozy last week. I broke my damn bed. How did I manage that one? Simple, I bent the damn frame until it separated at the joins. When you have myself (weighing in at a horrible 400lbs *more on that in a bit*), plus four dogs that weight, at least, 100lbs total, it causes for a very heavy amount to put on a damn bed frame. Then to top it off when I have insomnia I tend to roll around quite a bit. So I got a lovely surprise one morning. The bottom support went out & I went sliding from the top of the bed directly into the foot board. Since I didn’t know what happened & D & B were still asleep, I pulled the mattress & box springs off the frame & found the broken support. Once D woke up I had him come down to help me remove the frame. I got lectured about how I am not supposed to be moving heavy things (my fibro acts up every time I do & was no different this time). I thought the support just broke, but he found that the join had split. So we got that removed & then headed to Springfield to get a new metal frame. Didn’t need he headboard or the foot board, so wasn’t worried about getting anything fancy. Went to the furniture store & got what was supposed to be a queen platform metal bed frame. Well, they cobbled it together trying to get me up off the floor but it didn’t work. We tried to put it together & it was either missing pieces or we didn’t have the correct pieces. Oh well, I went on amazon & bought a Classic Brands Hercules Platform Heavy Duty Metal Bed Frame for my queen. So far I only have one problem with it. My bed before put me at about 13inches off the ground. While resting my mattresses on the floor was nice, but looked like I was some kind of hobo, lol. The frame now puts me way over 15inches off the ground.
The one on the left is my mattresses laying on the floor. The one on the right is the new frame. It is a little high, eh?
The footstool is for Allie & Shiloh to get up on the bed. My bed in the old house was a high one & they couldn’t jump it easily so we taught them to jump on the footstool then the bed. The pillows at the foot of the bed on the floor is for a certain little boy who is used to having a foot board to lay against. (He fell off the bed the first night it was on the floor)
I like it high up, but I am afraid it is going to be more of a problem cause I have to actually climb into the bed instead of just sit on it. But then that would be a tiny bit of exercise, right? I think I am going to have Dad help me & remove the box springs. Supposedly you don’t have to have the springs with this frame so I may try that. I don’t know if I will be able to get into the bed when my fibro acts up. *By “fibro acts up” I mean having a really bad pain flare day.* Yes, Shiloh is wearing a shirt. He will continue to wear a shirt until he learns that Pippa is not to be messed with. He like to snap at her heels & try to boss her around. He doesn’t care that she out weights him by at least 40lbs & has bit & drew blood before. He doesn’t learn his lesson. I have found that if he wears a shirt, Pippa doesn’t make skin contact hard enough to draw blood. So he is in a shirt.
If you are curious about what & how his shirts are created, I will give you a quick lesson. I buy a 12 month baby shirt (9 to 10 month is better, but are hard to find). I roll up the bottom of the backside (his tummy side) until it is above his wee-wee (he hates things touching his wee-wee though he doesn’t mind showing it off) & sew it from seam to seam. Then I take the neckline & dart it up tight enough that he won’t walk out of it, about 1.5inches. Then he has custom made doggie shirts. For girls, I do the same thing with the neckline, but not the rolling of the hem.
Yesterday, I had a meeting with my psychiatrist (I am so fucked up I only see her once every three months). I had to have vitals & got a surprise of my life. Thought I was doing so damn good with my weight. I knew I hadn’t lost much, but I thought I had maintained where I was. Nope. I now weight 401lbs. Someone just shoot me now. I have no idea how this is going to be handled. B says that she is going to go with me to Dr. Thomas (primary care) & hopefully get me sent to a bariatric specialist to see what they can do to help me. I don’t want surgery, but at the same time I don’t want to wind up 600lbs or more. Diets don’t work for me & it seems no matter how much I exercise nothing happens. I know how to eat & I eat pretty damn good according to the food pyramid. I do splurge once a week, but it isn’t horrible. I don’t eat all the time & my snacks are normally fruit or nuts. I do know I eat too many carbs, but even those I eat more good carbs then bad carbs. My problem is me metabolism is so damn slow. I refuse to do anything that makes me sick or running to the bathroom all the time. I don’t want to do lap band, bypass, or any surgery like that. Personally, I don’t think I would be a candidate & I don’t choose to give up my lifestyle.
It isn’t what I put in my mouth it is how quickly my body handles the food. This is gross, but true. My mother & I ate out & somehow managed to get food poisoning. She had the vomiting & diarrhea. I only had the vomiting. Three days later I got the diarrhea. My doctor (I did go cause I couldn’t stop) informed me that it was probably because it took my body three days to process the food. If that is the case then is it any wonder why I have a upset stomach all the damn time. Food is sitting in it for three days (honestly, don’t know if I believe the doctor or not). I don’t over eat (I rarely am hungry at all). I have my small portions & that is all I eat. Yes, I may eat two peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in the morning, but that is all I am eating until supper.
My food for a day usually consists of this: 2 eggs, sausage, one biscuit, a little gravy (by a little I am meaning about 2 tablespoons) for breakfast & 16oz of mountain dew (my one cheat for the day). For lunch I either have a ham sandwich or a pb&j with 16oz of Sprite Zero (there ain’t nothing in it). There is no snack between breakfast & lunch, but there is usually about 20 oz of water. Then around 3pm I normally will have a snack of 5 chocolate covered peanuts, 6 semi-sweet chocolate chips (the kind you put in cookies) *my favorite*, 4 graham crackers, an apple, a banana, or 1/2 cup of grapes. (yes, this is what I eat every day). Also in between lunch & dinner is at least 20oz of water. Supper I normally eat a small portion of potatoes or a starch, about 6oz of meat, medium portion of veggies, & a medium amount of salad if it is made. Also for the rest of the night I will drink about 20oz or more of water, tea, or Sprite Zero. Now you tell me, is this that bad??????
I exercise as much as I can. As long as I am not having a pain flare day I am pretty good. I walk, climb stairs & run my bike. It isn’t working though. Even when I was doing water aerobics I only lost 6lbs in 4 months & I was restricting my diet even more then.
I told you all I am severally fucked up. I don’t have the strength for this fight on top of all the other fights I deal with every day. I am so tired of fighting. I fight with myself the minute I wake up to the second I fall asleep at night.
I am so close to just giving it all up. I am having a hard time finding the reason to continue the fight.
I’ll keep you posted on what happens.